Loren Barrie

Desserts For Donations

Monday 14th Apr About a month ago, while walking to meet a friend for coffee, I passed the make shift lemonade stand that the kids utilized in the warmer months.  It reminded me of the days of my childhood when I would camp out at the end of my driveway with cups of ice tea and my mother's homemade chocolate chip cookies and sell them for twenty five cents each.  In that moment the idea of "Desserts for Donations" was born.  I have always enjoyed baking and the rhythm of it has been a healthy coping skill to manage and channel my grief over the loss of my mother. Share

I would walk to the ends of the Earth for her...

Wednesday 12th Mar We found out my mother had pancreatic cancer at Christmas 2023. Doctors appointments, stage testing, and treatment planning started immediately. By the end of January chemotherapy had started with the hopes of a surgical resection in May to be followed by more chemotherapy. The first eight rounds of chemotherapy were a struggle as the negative side effects of a life saving poison started to take their toll. There were concerns that my mother would not be strong enough to survive and recover from the surgery. On May 3, 2024 my mother underwent a Whipple Surgery and recovered better then anyone could have anticipated. She spent her last birthday in the hospital and came home the day before Mother’s Day. As the weeks went by she grew stronger and  our optimism continued to grow. At the beginning of July my mother went back into the hospital for a port to make post surgical chemotherapy easier and on July 9th chemotherapy began again. Post surgical chemotherapy was so much more difficult for my mother.  Every day became a struggle as she battled nausea, lack of appetite, thrush, low blood counts,  severe fatigue, dizziness, low blood pressure, breathing difficulties and so much more.. I felt utterly powerless but continued to be optimistic.  On October 16th my mother had her final infusion. Then we waited…. October 21st my mother had her PET Scan which showed the cancer was gone. My brave warrior of a mother had looked cancer in the eye fought with everything she had and was officially declared in remission.  Despite the positive prognosis she did not feel like celebrating as her body was so ravaged from the effects of chemotherapy. From the final infusion forward my mother continued to decompensate.  We told ourselves that she would bounce back, she needed a couple weeks to heal and regain her strength. We planned a party and a trip to celebrate her being cancer free. On November 16th my mother went into Stonybrook Hospital one final time.  The following day we were told her organs were shutting down. My mother had the heart and soul of a warrior but her body could not keep pace and on November 20th she died... eleven months from the time of her diagnosis. Share